It’s much easier to start a new relationship when you are young and free as well as when you haven’t faced all the troubles of the adult life yet, and nothing prevents you from finding a common language with a new partner, except for the peculiarities of your character and excessive maximalism. When you grow up and have already got some experience, everything changes. One day you can wake up in the morning and find out that you are not the same single and carefree young man who can seduce any girl but a single dad who is responsible for the biggest treasure in life. And instead of drinking a cup of coffee and eating a sandwich, you spend time cooking oatmeal and gathering a lunchbox.
It’s your reality that you want to change a bit, you still believe that it’s possible to meet a soulmate who will love both you and your kid. However, there is one pretty big problem that poisons your life – you don’t know how to start dating as a single dad. It seems that life experience should help you in such a case, but unfortunately, it often serves as a stumbling block on the way to a happy life with a new partner. And the very fact that you are one of the single dads influence the dating process more than you want. However, there is nothing impossible, and you can still back out on the dating scene.
Is It Possible to Date as a Single Dad?
Some people are worriers who have doubts and unpleasant experience of almost every trifle. There is a category of people who is sure that the presence of children puts paid to all the interesting and exciting life moments, and if you are a single parent then you have to devote your life to the kids and forget about your personal life as if you have lost the right for it when got the present status. However, this is complete nonsense. If you want to become happy and start a new relationship, you will surely meet someone special who will perceive the presence of kids rather as an advantage than a drawback. All people are extremely different, and things that are unacceptable for one person can become a decisive factor for someone else.
Many women like kids and will be extremely happy to have them, but unfortunately, they cannot give birth to their own ones. In such a case, a single dad can become just a perfect option and a lucky find. Anyway, when you fall in love with a person, you accept them as a whole, and it doesn’t matter whether they have kids or not because the offspring of the person is perceived as a pleasant addition and as a matter of course. So, if you have doubts about whether you can be involved in single dads dating, then you should immediately pick yourself up and just try.
Yes, it can be really scary since you are used to being a single dad and dating seems to be something unreal, but if you are reading this article, then it’s time for changes. You know, almost always the best things are waiting for us around the corner, and the only thing you need to do is to take a step forward.
Pros and Cons of Dating a Single Dad
People worry about so many different issues that any new thing makes them undertake a study and learn everything extremely carefully, weighing the pros and cons. Surely, when a woman thinks about the possibility of being involved in single dad dating, she has many doubts. It doesn’t matter whether she has her kids or not, the very fact of dating a man who devotes his life to upbringing the children on his own requires some courage and understanding of all the possible pitfalls. However, the temptation to become happy with a person who is not afraid of challenges and surely knows what the responsibility means is too high to lose such a chance.
Let’s start with the possible advantages of dating a single father.
1. You will not face unpleasant surprises
You know from the very beginning what you are getting since a dating profile of a single dad tells you about his personality and shows his main values. When you are single and free, you try to do your best to not fall into the trap of another pickup artist. You examine his text messages, then you pay attention to his outfit and behavior on the date when he is communicating with waiters. After that, you evaluate the time gap between the first night together and his call. However, his character remains still a mystery, you know him as a single and carefree guy who doesn’t know what the true responsibility is. Another thing is a man who has kids. This is a special category of men who has a certain number of stories from their parenting experience, some of them can melt the heart of every woman while others show the hidden sides of their personalities.
2. He will appreciate your efforts
Such a man has already gained life experience, and the challenges have taught him to appreciate the comfort and coziness that a woman creates in the house. Therefore, there is every reason to expect that he will treat his new girlfriend with respect, appreciating her work and help. And it is very important for family well-being. So, it’s possible to say that when you are involved in single fathers dating, you have all the chances to be greatly appreciated for your care and deeds.
3. He will surely become a great father for other kids
A man who sincerely loves his child will surely accept and love children born in another marriage. Therefore, when a woman is dating a single father, she can easily get rid of fears about his maturity and readiness to become a dad. There is just no need to ask oneself, “Will he become a good father? Will be I able to rely on him, being on maternity leave?”
4. You know for sure that he is a real man
The fact that a man is raising a child on his own, in most cases, clearly speaks in his favor. After all, he did not leave his kid to the vagaries of what may come, he did not give them to an orphanage or relatives of his ex-wife, but he has assumed all the worries and efforts! Given how often women complain that men do not have enough responsibility and feelings as a father, a single dad is just a real treasure.
5. He knows what things play a crucial role in life
If your main priority in life is a family, then you should reflect on being involved in dating single dads. They are not video-gamers or party people since they have taken such a huge responsibility. Of course, in their youth, they could like different things that don’t correspond to the image of a family man, but times have changed. Family is the main priority for a single dad.
Of course, everything has its downside, and it’s only up to you to decide how important it is.
1. There is a chance you will not be accepted by a kid
There are no guarantees that the child will accept and start loving the stepmother as his mother. You should be prepared for the fact that even small kids can treat a new member of the family with arrogance and ignorance.
2. Be prepared to be number two
Another difficulty with a single father is that you will always remain the second priority in his life. You should not be offended by the fact that you cannot be his main object of affection and attention, therefore, you should not try to pretend to be a victim in this situation. If you cannot cope with the situation, then you should not be involved in dating single dads.
3. You will meet with his ex
If this single dad is not a widower then there are high chances that if you have serious relationships, you will have to meet with his ex from time to time. If the other spouse is an adequate person, then she will surely participate in the life of her kids.
4. You may face jealousy on the part of a single dad or kids
It may seem a weird situation, but it can still take place. A father who is used to being the universe for his kids can start being jealous of you because you can win the heart of his kid, and he will lose his power over them a bit. The same can happen to the kids, who may start perceiving you as a rival to them.
5. He can cancel your date
If you have your kids, then there are higher chances that you will understand a man who has canceled a date because of his kids who have got cold, for example. However, if you are single and free from such problems, then another canceled date can annoy you or make you mad.
Dating Tips for Single Dads
Loneliness is destructive not only for a woman but also for a man, and it does not need proof. Most people dream of a happy strong family, where trust, mutual respect, and love reign. That is why it is so necessary to meet a reliable and responsible person who will be able to give care and accept the partner with all their pros and cons. If you feel that you are ready to reenter the dating scene, then you should consider the following tips to gain maximum benefit from dating for single dads.
Mention you have kids in advance
Some people believe that it’s not necessary to inform a potential partner about the fact that they have kids when they are only in the first stages of relationships. Often they are afraid that this fact can scare off a person they like so much and hope that over time, it will be easier for a partner to accept the presence of the kids. Nonetheless, such a secret can undermine trust between you and spoil everything.
Don't talk too much about children on dates
The fact that kids take center stage in your life doesn’t mean that you should talk only about them. Of course, it’s necessary to inform your date about their presence, and you can even tell some funny stories, but everything should be in moderation. First of all, you should be a man who has asked a charming woman on a date but not a dad who is looking for a new mummy for his kids.
Take care of yourself
If you want to impress a woman and make her interested in you, then you should meet her expectations. Nobody is looking for a man who looks like a tramp. If you want to date a worthy girl, then you should make efforts to look like a worthy man. Watch your appearance, put on good clothes, use a pleasant perfume. The fact that you are a single father doesn’t allow you to neglect the way you look.
Don't bring home women you've just met
It doesn’t matter how old your kids are, anyway, they are very sensitive and vulnerable. So, before you decide to introduce your new “soulmate” who can potentially become a new family member, think twice. There is just no need to make any drastic decisions. Don’t be desperate, trying to make a new mum for your kids out of every woman you have just met. You should bring home only the time-tested one.
Solve problems with your ex
If you have any unsolved issues with your ex-partner who is a parent of your kids, it will be better to deal with them before entering a new relationship. Otherwise, you can start shifting these things on a new partner. Surely you may do that subconsciously, but the burden of outstanding issues can prevent you from having a healthy and happy relationship with a new partner.
Be open with your children
You may think that your kids are too small, and it’s not necessary to ask their opinion, or on the contrary, you don’t want to be open with them because you are afraid to face their opposition. However, they are your family members who have the right to be aware of the course of events. Anyway, being open with your kids, you will be able to maintain friendly relationships with them and avoid unpleasant situations.
Don’t give up and look for a special woman
The fact that you didn’t meet a soulmate on the first try doesn’t suggest that you should abandon any efforts to do that later. All people are different, and while one woman can perceive the presence of children as a stumbling block on the way to happy relationships with you, another one may think that it’s a real stroke of luck to meet such a man.
Where to Meet Women for Single Dads
Have you ever noticed that one of the most common problems is unawareness of where to meet other people who should meet certain expectations? Thus, one of the most widespread complains of single dads is, “Where can I meet women who will not mind dating single dads?” The number of people who raise kids on their own is not that small, but the main challenge is to meet them since most often, these people are very busy. Nonetheless, you can still try your luck, using one of the following options.
The first thing that comes to mind when thinking about the best place for meeting women for single dads is a playground. People who spend time on the playgrounds with their kids, don’t worry too much about how they look, so there are higher chances to see their true personalities. So, if you are friendly and in the mood for a new acquaintance, then one of the single moms can become your perfect match.
2. Sites for single parents
In the digital era, one of the best places to meet anyone you want is the Internet. There are special sites that meet the requirements of certain groups of people. Thus, you can search for dating sites for single parents who are looking for new partners. Anyway, almost all female users will understand and share your fears and doubts, they are ready to face the possible dating a single dad problems.
3. Community events
You should definitely search for some community events that can take place in your city. If you think that there are none, just check your city’s community newspaper or groups on Facebook for upcoming events, you will surely find something. For example, it can be a holiday celebration or a fair. Such events provide people with a great opportunity to meet someone special.
4. Support groups
If you believe that it’s a weird idea to turn to a support group for single parents, then you should try to get rid of such thoughts as soon as possible since it’s a great chance to meet single parents who have the same goal with you. Try to check online groups for such meetings and don’t hesitate to go there. By the way, if there is none of them in your area, you can start your support group, and word of mouth will do its work.
Of course, it’s not so easy to start dating again after the quiet period, especially when you are responsible for the future of your kids. Nonetheless, the fact that you are a single parent shouldn’t prevent you from searching a soulmate. The presence of kids can become a problem only for those who don’t share your values and life philosophy. This fact can serve somewhat as a filter for the wrong people, but you don't need them in your life anyway. So, pull yourself together and start your successful search for happiness.